Marijah

Early Intervention success

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 21:25:25 GMT

Last week the boy had his annual check up with his neurodevelopmental pediatrician. Last year, around this time, we were finding out from this same man that the boy "displayed" on the border between autistic and PDD-NOS so the doc was going to diagnosis PDD-NOS. The doc also recommended that we immediately get him into the state early intervention program (EIP) for speech & behavior therapy.

While we were in Orange, the boy had a WONDERFUL behavior therapist, Renee, who helped him make AMAZING progress! Right before his third birthday, he was tested by the Piscataway school system in preparation for his aging out of the EIP. Miracle of miracles - while he did qualify for their special-ed preschool, called PEEPS, it was only in one area. I completely attribute to Renee's work with the boy that only his social skills were still deficient enough to qualify him for PEEPS.

What a difference a year makes!

And now, more good news. His neurodevelopmental pediatrician said not only would NEVER now consider labeling the boy autistic, he doesn't even think the boy falls on the PDD spectrum AT ALL!! That's right folks, my boy went from possibly autistic to not even on the PDD spectrum. The doc says we don't even need to bring the boy back unless the more severe symptoms return. He does agree with the school system that the boy has some speech and social issues but nothing severe enough to label.

Wow!! This was the outcome we'd hoped for but that I never dared get too excited about. I listen to my boy chatter up a storm and I can't help but be amazed. It's been months now since he's become a little chatterbox and I still LOVE hearing him chatter away.

We still need to be careful and work with him on issues like transitions and focusing on people and issues like that but still, to know that he's going to be OK is one of the greatest feelings ever.

What a present to receive for the new year.

"There once was a man named Oedipus Rex/ You may have heard about his odd complex ..."

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 19:51:40 GMT

Extra points to anyone besides concord who can name that tune!

My son's oedipal tendencies are getting to be annoying! I'm starting to HATE the sentence "No, MOMMY do it."

The weirdest one though was the night he came to our bed & wanted to sleep with us. He then climbed up between Paul & I & tried to kick Paul out of bed, saying "Move, move." We told him no & that he had to sleep in "Aidan's bed." He thought for a moment, climbed down, took my hand & said, "OK, mommy. You come sleep in Aidan's bed with Aidan. Daddy sleep here. Mommy sleep with Aidan."

Needless to say, I didn't join him. Still - 'twas bit on the creepy side. It's definitely starting to go from cute to aggravating. Still, I'm taking as a a positive sign, that last night he wanted Daddy to read to him at bedtime and today he wanted Mommy AND Daddy to take him shopping!

And I keep trying to remind myself that I'm going to miss this attention when he's 16 and wants nothing to do with me!

"Protection of marriage"

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:25:19 GMT

Copy this sentence into your LiveJournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

Gift guide for kids

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:09:07 GMT

I LOVE this site!! I rarely can afford any of the stuff featured on it but every now & then they put something up in my price range. Still - it's nice to have somewhere to go where you know the toys are SAFE and not mass produced!

Book page meme

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:44:00 GMT

* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

"The Notitia Dignitatum records the names of all the major units of the Roman armies in the west at the end of the fourth century, and the east at the beginning of the fifth century."

War horse : a history of the military horse and rider. Louis A. DiMarco. 2008.

Babies

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:16:55 GMT

I can really identify with the sentiment in this strip.

And seeing as how I let the boy have a cherry Klondike bar for breakfast this morning, maybe it's true.

My grandma's now at peace

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:09:15 GMT

So I got the call this morning for which I'd been waiting. My grandmother passed away in her sleep last night. Oddly, at this moment, what I'm feeling more than anything else is a sense of relief. I think I did all my grieving over the weekend while she was in the coma. And it's so good to know she's no longer suffering.

As I'd previously posted, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer last fall. At the time we were told she'd "probably make it to Christmas but probably not until her birthday" (which is in early January). Instead she fought and hung on until last night. And, until the beginning of the month, she was even doing really well. We'd take Aidan to visit her at least once a week & she'd talk to him & bring him up in the bed with her. But then a few weeks ago the pain started to be greater than even the medication could counter. She'd even tell us not to visit because she didn't want Aidan to see her like that.

Finally, last Saturday, she slipped into unconsciousness. At that point, the hospice RN told us she probably only had another 24 hours or so. For the next two days she slipped in & out. When awake she'd laugh, smile & sometimes cry but she recognized us all and we all got a chance to say our goodbyes. After Monday afternoon she never again regained consciousness. Finally, some time last night, she passed away.

I never knew what a stubborn, fighter my grandmother could be until this illness. I guess I know where I get it from now!! And I am humbled as well as honoured to think that might be so.

Grandma, wherever you are, I love you and I'll miss you. I'll make sure Aidan remembers you and your delight in him through stories and pictures and video and whatever else it takes. Now go yell at Grandpa for leaving fingerprints on the fridge door!! I'm sure he's missed hearing that from you.

Bye Grandma.

Gunfire in library upsets mother

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:39:47 GMT

I love it when someone sums up so nicely exactly what I was thinking after reading a news story.

The original story was about an elderly man who sadly committed suicide in a library bathroom in Florida. However, one library patron decided to make the incident all about herself & the treatment SHE received. This blog entry sums up my reactions to her stupidity perfectly!!

'One Word' Meme Stolen from sabrinamari

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 03:30:47 GMT

One word
Describe me with...
...just one single word...

Leave it in my comments section. Be anonymous if you choose, it won't be screened. Then post this original message on your journal and see how many strange and interesting things people say about you.

I think we did it!!

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 02:03:27 GMT

Right before the holidays we began weaning the boy. The one time he was regularly nursing was bedtime. Every night we were home, I would nurse him to sleep. Since we started weaning him though, he's either gone to sleep in the car or his father has put him to sleep. It's been at least 3 weeks since he last nursed but I still hadn't actually been the one to put him to bed.

Tonight I was on my own for the first time. I envisioned tantrums on his part & crying & depression on mine. I figured we'd wind up watching Cars until he finally fell asleep - exhausted from crying and watching the movie.

None of that happened.

It wasn't perfectly smooth sailing but once he realized I really meant it about no nursing, he settled in with another book and fell easily asleep while I read The black cauldron. He's sound asleep in his bed right now & I'm still amazed at how easily it all happened.

Tomorrow I'm probably going to be a basket case over the fact that my baby's growing up and doesn't need me but for now I'm just amazed and relieved at how pain free that whole process turned out to be.

The perfect holiday video

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:21:19 GMT

This makes me laugh!

Enjoy.

Cool!!

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 18:15:26 GMT

Your results:
You are Dark Phoenix

Dark Phoenix		59%
The Joker		51%
Poison Ivy		51%
Magneto		49%
Apocalypse		47%
Riddler		47%
Mystique		43%
Mr. Freeze		43%
Venom		42%
Dr. Doom		41%
Lex Luthor		31%
Juggernaut		31%
Catwoman		29%
Green Goblin		27%
Kingpin		22%
Two-Face		15%

A prime example of emotional extremes: Passion and fury incarnate.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Follow up to last night's meltdown

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 02:17:55 GMT

Thank you all so very much for all your love & support!!! It really has helped me feel a LOT better! I'm going to try & reply to everyone as soon as I can but I'm limited in the access I'm allowed at work so it may take a little time.

I did want to follow up on the Boy. I'd meant to mark last night's post Private so I didn't go into a lot of background details at the time. Obviously I messed up the settings so I did want to clarify what's going on with the Boy.

While I initially took him to see the neurodevelopmental pediatrician because of his delayed speech, that is not what has the specialists concerned. They believe it's his development of social interaction skills that's actually delayed which, in turn, is causing the delay in his speech. The current theory is that if the behaviour issues are addressed (through play therapy), his speech skills will rapidly follow. The diagnosis of autism is still only a preliminary diagnosis. He has many more hours of evaluations by many different experts to still go through before a final diagnosis is reached.

While the assessment that it's his social problems that are causing his speech problems is a firm one, still up in the air is why. But we've got lots of experts on the case and I have EXCELLENT insurance to help provide the best possible therapy. I did have to agree that with the doctor that he's not big on making eye contact or playing "with" us or acknowledging our presence or offering empathy ... I thought he was simply practicing how to be a teenager.

And I do agree with everyone who suggested that I may be sorry once he actually does start speaking. I don't doubt that for a second.

Again - thank you all!

So much stress ... so little time

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:50:18 GMT

I can't sleep. It's after 23.00, Boy's at my in-law's & Hubbie's working until late tomorrow morn. I should be dead asleep. Especially after the last three weeks. But I can't escape the thoughts tumbling in my head. Writing usually helps sort it all out but I can't find my journal. Boy must've been rearranging the books again. So fine . . . I'll try sorting it out here & see if that's enough to help me sleep.

What first?

Maybe Dawn. The boss lady wants to get together to start planning the new season. It's a good idea as I'm usually the one chomping at the bit to get started. But this time, all I can think about is Dawn. How can we have a festival season without her? I've repeatedly said over the years that all of us are indispensable. That the boss lady's the only one really necessary & the rest of us can easily be replaced. I was wrong. I don't think I can do it without her. I don't know if I want to do it without her.

Then there's Grandma. Maybe it's the suddenness of Grandma's diagnosis that has me thinking so much about Dawn these days. For years upon years we heard her doc say her stomach troubles were nothing. Now, she goes in for a broken ankle & finds out she's got final stage pancreatic cancer? It's like a bad soap opera plot. At least we've got more time with her than Dawn's family had after HER diagnosis. Still - the time isn't unlimited; we're counting in months. Maybe weeks. First the docs said maybe 'til Thanksgiving. Now they say maybe until the New Year. It's great to be able to see her in her own home and to celebrate Thanksgiving with her. Except for the knowledge that this was her last. And that Christmas will be her last. And her birthday - if she makes it that long.

What's worse - everything ending suddenly or the long, drawn out goodbye? They both suck but I can't decide which sucks more.

I recently had two very close relationships in my life change directions. In both cases, it was for good reasons. One in particular I'm finding hitting me very hard. My rational brain knows I should be happy for what has caused the changes. My selfish brain dwells on the fact that right now it's the last thing I need.

Husband's been working nonstop since the end of last month. I like routine; I like when things are predictable and the hours of a sound engineer are anything but. I never really know who's picking the Boy up from daycare or whether it's just two for dinner or anything. I hate it. And I'm so raw that I wind up spending the little time we have together reminding him how much I hate it. As if he didn't know. I could probably write out the script for the conversations we've had on it; it hasn't really changed over the last ten years.

I'm just stretched so thin. I can't help but snap and bite. I have to save any tiny bit of patience & joy that I have left for the Boy. And it really is a tiny bit. I should be worried that I'm letting him stay at the in-law's tonight while he's still got a cold but instead I'm simply relived that for a few hours more I don't have to pretend to be calm & cheery & patient.

The Boy. That's probably the biggest strain. I still can't believe that specialist thinks it might be autism. Or PDD. How could my little boy be autistic? (Which, spell check has just informed me, I don't know how to spell. Sure, add insult to injury.)

He's affectionate & loving & he doesn't mind being touched. He voluntarily gives me hugs & kisses; I didn't think autistic children did that. They were just supposed to tell us what we were doing wrong. I figured I'd go in & after a few minutes the doc would say, "Hey, if you'd just do x, he'd be talking by now. What kind of a parent are you?" I just wanted to learn why he wasn't talking yet. And now I'm trying to wade my way through enrolling him in EIP & coordinating with his pediatrician & the neurological pediatrician's office & talking to dozens of strangers about every little facet of his short little life.

Who knew that so many little things are actually considered "problems"? Apparently his "adoption" of a catapult and a bag of chips was no different than the cars he often carries around - a symptom. They tell me autistic children like to have objects to hold. That it comforts them. And the way he's able to so easily solve advanced puzzles and amuse himself in his own little world - also signs of autism. I hate that these stupid "symptoms" put my views of my child in a whole new light. I want to keep seeing him the same way I always have - as a sweet, slightly quirky, VERY energetic, loving little boy. But no, it's like they've gotten into my head & I keep hearing the specialists' voices now, whenever I look at him.

I'm hoping that the additional evaluations they'll be doing will demonstrate that the initial diagnosis was wrong. If he needs speech therapy & behaviour therapy to help him catch up with others his age then fine. I'll make sure he gets whatever he needs! But I don't want him to have this label. He's happy. I know he is. So why does he need this label thrust on him that's going to colour the way folks see him for the rest of his life?

I really hope the evaluators decide the preliminary diagnosis was wrong. I hope my grandmother continues to remain pain free. I hope I manage to get my head together soon. And I hope this was enough mental purging to let me get some sleep! The gods know, I really could use it. And if it wasn't then I hope it was enough coffee liqueur at least.

I think we're warping our child

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 18:01:15 GMT

Alright, as long as I've already broken my rule on posting stuff . . .

I worry sometimes about what we are teaching our child to view as normal.

Exhibit A from this morning:

The Boy threw a huge tantrum when we arrived at daycare because I wouldn't let him take his toy in with him.

Now, I realize a tantrum is perfectly normal for a toddler. What's not quite so normal is the "toy" involved - my husband's working model of a catapult complete with round metal projectiles. At least I'd had the foresight to take THOSE away ages ago to protect the cats. The Boy was cradling this miniature working weapon the way he does one of his Thomas trains - as if it was his most precious possession in the world. He'd carried it out of the house and into the car all by himself. Then he had sat in his carseat the whole ride, clutching the toy to his chest, fearful that I was going to take it away. Which, of course, I did.

Where did things go wrong??!! I'm pretty sure there aren't too many toddlers out there playing with replica medieval siege weapons. I know I've never read about this particular dilemma on any of the parenting boards to which I belong. Maybe I should start one. It can be for parents of budding Rennies or something.

And my husband's response to all this? "I'm so proud."

Hmm, maybe I DO know where things went wrong . . .

Oh what the hell - at least it's better than working

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:44:23 GMT

Fine, I'll succumb to peer pressure 'cause there's no way I'm finishing this report today at work.

Marijah - a heaping teaspoon of seduction - 1 1/2 cups of athleticism - 2 teaspoons of flirting Serve hot.
'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com

NJRK

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:38:50 GMT